To those of us not born in Australia, the similarity between the pronunciation of the words “cans” and “Cairns” is far from obvious. So when we received a call a few weeks back from Cam Hines, co-founder of Melbourne’s Mountain Goat, wanting to run an idea past us, at first we were somewhat bamboozled.
We understood the bit where he explained that they were planning to release their first beer in cans. And also that, inspired by last year’s trip to the Northern Territory to take craft beer where it had never been before on Goat Island, they wished to do something similar for their 16th birthday. Yet why they would want to take their new beer to Cannes, when as far as we knew they didn’t sell any beer in France and had no immediate intention of doing so, was beyond us. Furthermore, if he was suggesting that The Crafty Pint should accompany them, then this was something we were never going to get rubberstamped by Mrs Pint.
Then the penny dropped.
“You mean Cairns? Not Cannes?”
“Yes. Of course. Seriously, Crafty?”
And so it was that, armed with a selection of their beers and with a camera crew in tow, they headed to Far North Queensland to follow last year’s NT beer dinner with a similar event at a similarly unlikely location: Go Bowling tenpin alley in Cairns. There, with many of the attendees resplendent in their team bowling shirts, Cam and fellow brewery founder Dave Bonighton (pictured above auditioning for a role in Home and Away) gave a guided talk through their range, from Steam and Hightail through IPA to Summer Ale and Hopfweizenbock, while we posed questions of the bowlers to find out what these dedicated XXXX Gold and rum drinkers made of them – and what craft beers might have a chance of succeeding in the tropics.
Perhaps unsurprisingly there was little love for the IPA – “too bitter” being the most common cry – while conversely the Hightail found plenty of backers.
James Miller, who works at a boarding school and is an avowed Bundy and Coke man, found the Steam “a little fruity, like a wine”, Hightail a “bit more like a Tooheys” and the IPA “really bitter… It really wasn’t my cup of tea”. What did find favour was the Brooklyn collaboration, a 6.5 percent ABV hoppy, strong wheat beer.
“That’s my pick of the bunch,” he said. “It’s more rounded. It’s not too bitter. It’s not too sweet and there’s a lot of flavours, which is good.”
But could it be that it has a rich sweet malt bill and a higher ABV, thus reminding him of his rum?
“If you’re a spirit drinker, you’d enjoy this more than a XXXX or VB,” he admits. Which we assume is the first time that particular compliment has been directed at this beer.
But what of the Summer Ale, the reason for the trip to Cairns (or at least the one they were giving to their wives)?
“It reminds me of Passiona,” says hotel house manager and James Squire / Bluetongue drinker John Parsons. “I like it. It’s just got a nice smooth taste.
“I think the Summer and Steam, both of those would pretty well take off, especially in a warmer climate.”
So there you go: the results of the most scientific taste test ever carried out are in. And, would you believe it:
- Lighter, fruitier, refreshing beers are likely to be favoured in warmer climes, heavy beers less so
- Drinkers not used to highly bitter beers find highly bitter beers unappealing
- Rum drinkers like sweeter, higher ABV beers
All that remains now is to await the call from the Nobel judges announcing some sort of major award in recognition of such ground-breaking findings. And to offer a teaser for the forthcoming Cans in Cairns short film that will be coming soon…
